seeing a hot guy walk by like
Reblogging for the sheer hilarity of the gif.
It would be a mistake not to
"Four score and one booty ago damn that’s a fine ass"
everyone needs friends who will encourage them to pierce things and ride things and go to places and buy shit and show off side boob. everyone.
I bought my friend an elephant for their room.
They said “Thank you.”
I said “Don’t mention it.”
Is there a joke here that 15 thousand people get but I don’t?
I DONT GET IT SOMEONE EXPLAIN OR I WILL KILL
This is my new favourite joke 😂
okay so we know about jesus when he’s a baby, and jesus when he’s an adult, but does the bible ever mention his rebellious teenager years?
‘jesus, go feed the donkey.’
‘yOU’RE NOT MY REAL FATHER’
the ground shakes a little, and a voice comes down from the sky
‘do what your stepfather says you little shit’
last year i was eating in a fancy, large restaurant when i began to hear a rumble and the distant sound of people chanting ‘potassium, potassium’ and suddenly hundreds of people dressed as bananas flood this restaurant chanting potassium over and over and we were trapped there for a very long time because the bananas would not leave and they were everywhere
i wasn’t joking
seeing older people in the media openly mocking my generation is more amusing than it is insulting because its like, look at you, a grown-ass man thinking you’re better than us because back in your day you had to go buy a newspaper in order to know the news. well i can learn anything i want to in 5 seconds. i win